Not Another Crossover
by Woe is Me
Summary: Harry Potter meets Jimmy Neutron! WARNING: VERY RANDOM! Surgeon General's Warning: People who like boring dramatic serious stories, do not read. CHAPTER 5 IS UP!
1. In Jimmy's Lab

**JIMMY NEUTRON MEETS HARRY POTTER!!!**

By InnocentAngel14 (a very hyper one, mind you)

Please enjoy, guys! I worked hard, even though I was extremely manic, dangerous, and on the loose.

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Carl, Jimmy, and Sheen were in the lab. Jimmy was putting the final touches on his newest invention.

"Yes! I am done! Finally!" Jimmy screamed, holding a handheld machine that resembled a remote control.

"Hey Jimmy? How come you always scream like that whenever you invent something?" Carl asked.

"I dunno. It must be the stupid writer of this TV show," Jimmy muttered.

Goddard barked in his strange mechanical way for no apparent reason.

"Hey Jimmy? How come we always wear the same wardrobe everyday? I mean, this Ultra-lord T-shirt has been the same for I don't know how many episodes!" Sheen complained.

"The wardrobe director had a nervous breakdown because she thought she was a geek with no life because she was designing outfits for fictional characters. Now she's acting as Cindy Vortex's mom," Jimmy explained.

"Hey Jimmy?"

"STOP ASKING ME THESE QUESTIONS!"

Jimmy fell to the ground and twitched like a strange rabbit.

"But Jimmy, I just wanted to ask you why the writer doesn't let me have a llama for a pet if I love them so much," Carl said.

"Why don't you just ask him?" Sheen suggested.

"Good idea. Writer, can I have a llama as a pet?" Carl asked. The question seemed to dissolve into the air.

Then suddenly, a low, loud voice bellowed out of nowhere: "YOUR WISH IS GRANTED!"

Soon a llama chewing on grass stood next to Carl. "Wee! I'm going to name you San Pedro for no apparent reason! And now, we can go to Brazil, and live a life of leisure and pleasure and petting zoos! Wee!" Carl spun and ran around the llama and clapped like a little schoolgirl with pigtails and braids.

"OK, that was real nice. Hey Jimmy, why are you still on the ground and twitching like that?" Sheen asked.

"Why don't you ask the writer that?" the twitching Jimmy asked.

"Hey Writer, why is Jimmy still spazzing out and twitching like that?" Sheen asked.

"BECAUSE I FELT LIKE IT! NOW, BECAUSE YOU DARE TO QUESTION ME, I WILL TURN YOUR HEAD INTO A SLAB OF STEAK!" the low voice roared again.

Sheen's head was immediately replaced with a filet mignon.

Jimmy stood up and shook himself like a dog for no apparent reason.

"So what's your invention, Jimmy?" Carl asked while petting San Pedro.

"It's something that will create a great crossover with a nerdy-looking wizard!" Jimmy said.

"In English please?" Sheen said.

"I just said it in English."

"Oh. Hey, does that mean you're like, multilingual or something?" Carl asked.

"Ooooh! Say it in Japanese!" Sheen said, jumping up and down like a diseased toad.

"Very well. Minkatha wananaylah soo seeh sah meh nah nah roola pension," Jimmy sighed.

Carl and steak-headed Sheen stared at Jimmy blankly and dumbly.

Then Carl continued to skip merrily around San Pedro. Sheen started feeling his steak head.

"This new head is too slimy and meaty and raw and overcooked. I want my old one back! Writer, could I please have my old head back?" Sheen cried out.

"VERY WELL! BUT ONLY IF JIMMY DOES A SCARY AND DISTURBING IRISH JIG!" the writer's voice screeched.

Jimmy sighed and starting doing the dance. Slowly but surely, Sheen's head transformed back to normal.

"OK Jimmy. Can we use your crossover machine now? Pretty please?" Carl asked.

"Fine. Stand in a circle," Jimmy commanded.

Goddard barked and put on big puppy eyes.

"Who could say no to a face like that? Come on, boy!" Carl said.

"Hey! That's my line!" Jimmy socked Carl in the face.

"Ouch."

"Let's go! I want to meet the nerdy dude!" Sheen said impatiently.

"OK, OK, keep your pantyhose on!" Jimmy said.

Carl scratched at his butt. "Do I have to? It itches!"

"Get ready for a super new crossover!" Jimmy screamed.

He pushed the button.

* * *

Ooooooh, what will happen next! I am so giddy! That's another stupid word for HYPER! WOO HOO! Nobody will stop me because I am fueled up on candy Lego blocks and jelly belly beans!

**YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.**

_Please read and review!_


	2. Arriving at Hogwarts

**_I finally updated guys! Please R & R! OK, here goes chapter 2!_**

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Jimmy pressed the button on this machine. A yellow flash filled the room and soon the gang found themselves in a dim-lit room with a fireplace burning and armchairs and various couches lying around.

Carl put his hands on his hips in a girlish way. "Who designed this room? Honestly! Tsk, tsk, tsk. Time to call in the experts!"

Carl whipped out a cell phone and called somebody. "Hello? Yes, this is Carl, but you can call me Carly. Yes, I have no idea where it is, but come right away anyway!"

Just then a van saying "Trading Spaces" pulled up into the room.

"Carl! You invited Trading Spaces here! Get them out NOW! We don't even know where we are!" Jimmy said.

"What are you talking about Jimmy? I love this show!" Sheen jumped up and down and clapped his hands.

Paige hopped out of the van. Sheen and Carl tugged on her shirt.

"Ooooh, Paige, I am your biggest fan!" Carl squealed. Sheen pulled down his pants and stuck his butt in Paige's face.

"Could you sign my underwear?" Sheen squeaked.

Before Paige could say anything, Jimmy pushed her aside and pulled Sheen's pants back up. "I'm sorry, that will be all. We don't need any of your work done here."

Jimmy pushed Paige back into the van and the Trading Spaces van drove away.

"Whatcha do that for, Jimmy?" Sheen asked.

"Look, we don't know where we are. We might be on Neptune, for all you know! Or, maybe at Timmy Turner's house..." Jimmy said but was cut short by Carl's moan.

"Oh NO! Don't remind me of that awful Timmy and his stupid little fairies! OH MY GOSH, that was the worse crossover ever! I mean, San Pedro could write a better crossover than that! A whole hour of Timmy Turner, going on blah, blah, blah. And the end was oh SO cliché! Ugh!" Carl groaned painfully.

Sheen disagreed. "I dunno. I liked the fairies. Did you know that I'm really good at impressions of them? Watch me!"

Sheen climbed up an armchair and jumped off it screaming, "I CAN FLY! I CAN FLY! I CAN FLY!" Sheen fell and landed on his oversized face.

Just then a boy with outrageous red hair and green tights flew into the room.

"I can fly too! See!" the boy floated into the air.

"And who are you?" Jimmy asked.

"I am Peter Pan! Come fly with me, Wendy!" Peter Pan pulled Carl into the air.

A little green ball of light flew up to Carl and shook some fairy dust on him.

"Thank you, Tinkerbell! Come on, Wendy!" Peter Pan said excitedly.

Carl rose into the air next to Peter Pan.

"Hey! I'm not Wendy! But I wish I was...her dress is so pretty!" Carl spun higher into the air.

"Look, kid, I think you got the wrong story. The Darling's house is over that way," Jimmy said, pointing to the left.

"Aw man! That stupid Tinkerbell, always giving me wrong directions," Peter Pan flew out of the room, Tinkerbell fluttering close behind.

Sheen was still lying on the floor. Carl floated down to the ground. Jimmy knelt beside Sheen and shook him.

"Wake up Sheen!" he said. Sheen didn't move. Carl started sobbing hysterically. "SHEEN! SHEEN! HE'S GONE, GONE FOREVER!"

Then, slowly, Sheen's eyes opened. "Who are you? Where am I? Who am I?" Sheen said, his voice slow and syrupy, his eyes in a daze. "OH NO, SHEEN HAS AMNESIA!" Carl cried.

Just then, a boy with glasses and a lightning bolt on his head, a girl with brown wavy hair, and a boy with bright red hair (no, not Peter Pan again) walked into the room.

"Who are you three, and what are you doing in the Gryffindor Common Room?" the boy with the glasses asked.


	3. Introductions, Introductions

**Well, the story is being continued, whether you like it, or** **not!** _So R&R anyway!_

* * *

"Gryffindor Common Room? Where's that?" Jimmy asked.

"Hey! Why am I, of all people, in a Common Room? My mom says I'm special! So do my teachers! That's why I'm in Special Ed!" Carl demanded angrily.

Everyone stared at Carl for a few moments. Then they resumed speaking.

"OK, introductions. I'm the Boy who Lived," Harry, or the kid with the glasses, said.

Jimmy's eyebrow raised. "And who is that?"

Harry's face went white and cold. "You don't know me? I'm Harry Potter! THE Harry Potter! I defeated Voldemort?"

"Hey! You know you're not allowed to say that word here!" the red-haired boy said.

"Voldemort? That's like a curse word or something? Hey Jimmy! VOLDEMORT YOU! Ooooh, I said a bad word!" Carl giggled.

Jimmy rolled his eyes. "Sorry, I've never heard of Harry Potter," Jimmy said.

Harry broke down crying. "But I'm Harry Potter! I'M FAMOUS! How could you have never heard of me?"

He took out a picture and showed it to Jimmy. "But look! I was at the Oscars! And look, here's me holding hands with Halle Berry and Jennifer Aniston? And I was the special guest on the Late Show with Dave Leno? And remember once I was on Saturday Night Live once? And that episode TOTALLY flopped?"

Jimmy shook his head.

Harry curled up into a ball and wept. "I'm not popular anymore! My life is in a decline! Oooooh, the pain, the misery!"

"...OK then. Anyway, I'm Jimmy Neutron, and this is my friend Carl Wheezer. And this is my friend Sheen, except he has amnesia at the moment..." Jimmy said.

The girl with the wavy hair knelt beside Sheen. "I'm Hermione Granger, and don't worry, I know an anti-amnesia spell." Hermione took out her wand and waved it and said a few magic words.

Soon Sheen sat up. "Hello. My name is Sheen but I have no idea what my last name is."

"Oh no! The spell didn't work fully!" Hermione cried.

"No, it's fine! Nobody knows what his last name is!" Jimmy said.

"Yay! I got my memory back!" Sheen sang, standing up.

"OK, I want to be introduced to this story, so my name is Ron Weasely," the red-haired boy said.

"Ronnie, I just LOVE that hair. You simply must tell me where you get it styled!" Carl said.

"My name is RON, and I don't get it styled. Can't you see how messy it is?" Ron said, pointing to his unruly red head.

"No, no, Ronnie dear. That's the new style, don't you know? The sexy wild style! I simply ADORE it!" Carl leaned in closer to Ron.

Ron jumped back. He wasn't used to gay people...unless you count Malfoy...

Sheen stood up and pointed to the sobbing Harry. "Who's that?"

"I'm Harry Potter? Do you have no idea who I am too?" Harry cried.

"Hmmm...Harry Potter...the Boy Who Lived...main character of bestselling series by a certain J.K. Rowling who used to live in a car and wrote her books in a café...hmm...defeated arch enemy and leader of the Dark Side...called Voldemort...hmmm....lives on Privet Drive with evil Durseleys...Sorry. Never heard of him," Sheen said.

Harry started sobbing again.

"But none of you have answered my main question...Where are we?" Jimmy asked.

"You're in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!" Ron said.

"Wow! Magic!" Sheen twirled around.

"OK, I believe this crossover has been long enough. So long friends!" Jimmy was about to push the button on his remote.

"No wait! Let's have a little fun!" Hermione cried, battering her eyelashes toward Sheen.


	4. The Author's Bad Day

**Chapter 4: Author's Bad Day**

_OK...fourth chapter...meh...here goes nothing...well actually it is something...so here goes something..._

_...enjoy!!!_

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Sheen looked at Hermione. "Why are you battering your eyelashes? Are you like cookie batter or something?"

"No..." Hermione began.

Suddenly Jimmy took an onion covered with dog doo and swallowed it whole.

"That thing reeks!" Harry said.

"I know! And it tastes gross too," Jimmy said.

"I was gross once. Because I was the highest grossing film!" Harry said proudly.

Everybody ignored him.

"Why did you have it in your pants? And why'd you eat it?" Ron asked.

"I dunno!" Jimmy said. "Well you're the genius!" Sheen demanded.

Jimmy yawned, and a disgusting smell came out of his mouth.

The kids shrieked and covered her vulnerable noses.

"Your breath seriously stinks!" Carl cried.

Just then Jimmy grabbed Hermione and smooched her on the lips.

Hermione let out a bloodcurdling scream. She shouted, "The pain! The stench! The horror!" Right then Hermione fainted and collapsed.

"There must be something wrong with the writer today!" Harry said.

"OH WRITER? Why did you make me eat a canine feces-covered onion and kiss that weird Her-Hinee girl?" Jimmy called into the sky.

Suddenly Hermione got up from the floor. "My name is HERMIONE! Not Her-Hinee!"

Carl giggled. "But you still got a pretty big Hinee!"

Suddenly a loud low voice bellowed: "ALL OF YOU STUPID FICTIONAL CHARACTERS! SHUT UP! THIS IS YOUR AUTHOR SPEAKING! I GOT A BAD DAY TODAY, GOT IT? SO I'M GONNA TORTURE ALL YOU STUPID CHARACTERS! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Nice evil laugh!" Harry called upwards.

"THAT IS NOT MY EVIL LAUGH! THAT'S MY REGULAR LAUGH! THIS IS MY EVIL LAUGH: TEE HEE HEE TEE HEE!" (basically an infant's giggle.)

The writer continued: "FOR MISTAKING MY NORMAL LAUGH FOR AN EVIL ONE, I WILL MAKE YOU SMELL EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE TO SMALL RODENTS!"

Suddenly Harry smelled remarkably like Swiss cheese, and tiny mice, huge hairy rats, adorable wee chipmunks, and fuzzy furry squirrels started attacking the young wizard.

The others watched Harry squirm and scream, rodents all over him.

Hermione let out a little giggle. For some reason, she was enjoying this.

The author bellowed yet again: "YOU, HERMIONE! YOU ARE LAUGHING! I DON'T LIKE LAUGHERS! ONLY I CAN LAUGH! THEREFORE I SHALL TORMENT YOU WITH STRANGE ROMANCE! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Oh no! I hate romance!" Hermione cried.

"I SHALL MAKE YOU DATE CLAY AIKEN!"

The spunky funky singer appeared. Hermione squealed.

Clay slicked back his red hair. "OH MY GOD! You are the cutest hunk in the world! Come on! Let's go! McDonald's? Wendy's? Burger King? Or do you prefer a more romantic French atmosphere, like Chez Le Amour? Oh THANK YOU GREAT AUTHOR! Come on Clay! I'm just 'Aiken' for you!" Hermione cried as she slipped her palm into his.

Carl ran up to Clay. "Oh my goodness, Clay Aiken! I'm your biggest fan! You totally should have won. I loved your song! But you know what song you should have song if you really wanted to hit it big and beat that fat sandwich Rueben?"

"What?" Clay asked, a little scared that this kid was acting so gay.

Carl ripped off his pants, revealing checkered boxer shorts.

"I'm too sexy for my shorts...oh yeah!" Carl sang.

"Oh writer, why do you subject us to such...gayness?" Jimmy shouted in anguish.

"I TOLD YOU, I'M HAVING A BAD DAY! NOW HERMIONE, SINCE YOU FIND CLAY SUCH A HOTTIE, I GUESS I WILL HAVE TO MAKE YOU DATE NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM!"

Clay disappeared, and Neville arrived in his place. Hermione shrieked and ran away, Neville crying as he followed her, "Hermione, come back! I have a toad for you to meet!"

The author decided to go on:

"NOW CARL, BECAUSE YOU HELPED YOU ME WITH MY TORTURE BY DOING YOUR LITTLE BALLAD FOR US, I WILL REWARD YOU BY ALLOWING YOU TO JOIN THE FAB FIVE ON QUEER EYE 4 THE STRAIGHT GUY!"

Carl giggled, clapped his hands, and disappeared in a puff.

Jimmy, Sheen, Harry, and Ron were left. "OK, let's go before we get in trouble," Sheen said. The others agreed and were about to leave the common room when they heard someone outside the fat lady's picture.

They opened to door to find a pretty handsome man with reddish-golden locks, with a bag of locks and keys.

Harry and Ron suddenly gasped. "Lockhart!"

"Yes, I do believe that is my name! Lockhart's locks and keys at your service! My dear friend Dumbledore told me that I suffered from some sort of memory loss! So I have decided to go into the locksmith business! So are any of you fine young men interested in getting something opened? Or maybe the key to a girl's heart? I have some wonderful poems to give to the love of your life! Here, come and listen:

_I am in love with a girl_

_She does not make me hurl_

_She is pretty_

_She is a human, not a kitty_

_She is a babe_

_And I think she is hot._

_Even though she is not._

Sheen wiped a tear away. "Oh my gosh that is the most spectacular poem I have ever heard! I must buy ten of your poems!"

Jimmy, Harry, and Ron left Sheen behind while he listened to the awful poetry.

The three boys were walking in the hallway when the author decided to start talking to the characters again.

"YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN THINKING. JIMMY, YOUR HEAD IS WAY TOO BIG FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. I THINK I'LL GET MY OLD FRIEND TO DO SOMETHING FOR ME..."

Just then Professor Snape appeared in the hallway. "I've gotten a call from my friend to do a special spell on one of you..." he said in his cold and raspy voice.

"Who the heck are you?" Jimmy asked.

"Your worst nightmare!" Snape cackled.

Harry and Ron screamed as they ran and hid in a small corridor, watching the scene.

Snape moved his arms in a circular motion and said some strange words that sounded like a forbidden Island Spell.

Suddenly Jimmy's head shrunk to the size of a baby's butt. His head was so small that his voice sounded high and squeaky like a bug. Also, his brain size shrunk too, making him as stupid as a Carl.

"Hey! My head is tiny! I like sunflower seeds! Someday I want to marry Amanda Bynes! Ha! My voice is so high you can't hear me! So I can reveal my darkest secrets and you can't hear me! Ha! I'm not really smart at all! Goddard invents everything, I just play along! I bought Goddard at a flea market! In my spare time, I love doing aqua yoga! Hee hee!" Jimmy said.

"You know, Jimmy, we can hear you. Your voice isn't THAT high," Ron said.

"Yes it is!"

"No it's not."

"Yah hah!"

"If it is, how do I know you just said Yah hah?"

"How do I know, you're magic! Hey! I'm going to play with my Barbies now!"

Jimmy sat down and took two Barbies out of his pocket. He moved them up on down, making one Barbie say: "I love your blonde hair Barbie!" The other Barbie then said: "I love yours too!" The Barbie said: "Let's go shopping!" "OK!" the other said. Jimmy's small head giggled.

"Wow. That was weird. Let's go eat," Ron said. Harry and Ron left Jimmy and went down to the Great Hall.


	5. The End of the Most Spectacular Fanfic E...

Ron and Harry sat down at the benches in the Great Hall.

After twenty-five minutes of concentrated silence, both boys noticed there was no food in front of them.

So they started eating the wooden table vigorously.

Soon Ron and Harry moaned of the pain of the wooden splinters wedged between their teeth.

In fact, they moaned so loudly, that Sheen stopped listening to pathetic poems, Jimmy put a halt to his Barbie game, Carl paused his Queer Eye 4 the Straight Guy live premiere with the Fab Five, and Hermione ran away from her romantic date with Neville. They all ended up in the Great Hall.

Sheen, Jimmy, Carl, and Hermione pulled up fold-up chairs that all the old lazy guys buy when they go to the park to watch grass. They sat down and started eating popcorn that scarily appeared out of nowhere. All the characters watched as Ron and Harry cried of pain.

Then the wood poisoning took over their bodies, and killed them.

All the characters cheered happily.

However, protagonists never die in stories like these, so for the sake of plot, Hermione coincidentally knew a spell to bring specific redheads and nerds with glasses and lightning bolt scars back to life.

Ron and Harry stood up, back to life.

In fact, they were so happy they were alive again that they began square dancing to some Texan cowboy music, screaming loudly, "YEEEEEEEEEE-Haw!"

All the characters joined in, merrily dancing.

"Well, today was fun, but I gotta get back to Retroville so I can continue my TV series about how I pretend to not like a certain girl named Cindy Vortex but really I love her, and that how amazingly every single one of my experiments goes wrong, so I'm really not a genius, but the show is called Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius," Jimmy explained.

"I'm gonna miss all of you oh so much!" Carl hugged Ron for a strangely long time. Ron squirmed around uneasily.

"Thanks for all the laughs," Hermione said, then curtsied for no apparent reason, and suddenly held out a cup and said, "Would you like a spot o' tea?"

"Well, I have to go to Potions Class now so I can be tortured by Professor Snape, to make all my readers feel bad for me!" Harry said.

"I've got to watch Ultra-Lord because I'm freakishly obsessed with it!" Sheen cried out.

"Yeah. So bye guys!" Ron said, waving goodbye.

"Bye!" Jimmy pressed a button and another yellow flash filled the Great Hall, and the three Retrovillian friends disappeared, but not before Carl twiddled his gay little fingers and said, "Toodles!"

Jimmy, Carl, and Sheen were soon back in Jimmy's lab, greeted by good ol' San Pedro and Goddard. (Goddard had joined the crossover for a little bit, but decided he was bored and zapped back to the lab)

"That was a cool crossover," Jimmy commented but to no response.

"Yeah. Well bye, gotta continue our TV series," Carl said.

Sheen and Carl were about to leave when suddenly the lab door slammed open.

Cindy Vortex walked in and French-kissed with Jimmy.

"Whoa!" everyone yelled after the smooch was done.

"What'd you do that for, for Bob's sake!" Jimmy asked, wiping his lips off his sleeve.

"I don't know, I guess it was for a special TV premiere to make kids watch Nickelodeon more. And why is your head so small?" Cindy asked, also surprised at her actions.

"OH WRITER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" all the characters asked, shrieking into the sky above.

* * *

Well, that's the end. If you don't like the ending, then tell me and I'll change it and make an alternate ending for all you peoples out there. If not, then just review me and tell me what you think!

"That's all for now, Folks!" Porky Pig snorted, who appeared out of nowhere.


End file.
